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| In honor of my 10 week sojourn to the Big Apple I am going to begin writing in my Xanga again! Joy! | | |
| It's been so long since i've written i don't even know where to start or what to say.
It's all kind of a blur, a continuous flow of one moment to the next, and no matter how much i resent it, i find myself comparing every moment to my expectation that, for better or worse, have not been met. Everything is relevant to how much logner i am here. If i am taking full advatage of the assets and experiences offered me. does that mean i enjoy each moment less because i cannot see it for itself, but rather if it brings me closer to what i wanted?
The thing is.... i feel like i am a social anomoly. Not that i cannot handle myself in social situations, but rather.... i have no connection to anything much. i fill none of the normal roles encountered. i'm not a student, not a shop worker or an artist. i'm just me. it is a book mark painted with jungles and waterfalls in a book of geology. a vacation, but too long and full to be discounted as such. it is yet another visit to the Other Alix. the Alix i almost like better. I don't even fit in with ages groups. i feel small and stupid around older people, and marvel at the childishness of most people my own age. what does that leave me?
I wonder if Other Alix will come home with me, or if i'll shuck her off on the plane, or in canada? Other Alix is more real... but less noticeable. a quick swap of charisma for a chance to be taken seriously.
As for what i've been doing, less what i've been thinking.... i don't know if i can flatly answer. I have been going on picnics, visiting Prague, painting, writing, meeting people. i can't really say more than that. i can't define my life in mere words, and this is my life. it's nothing more, and nothing less. it's everything and nothing. all at once. fuck. | | |
| Well, here we are again. it was sunny and warm for about a week, then Melissa comes back for another visit, and the sun vanishes, and the cold rain begins to fall. thanks, mr. weather.
I had a terrible headache one day last week, and spent the day in bed listening to books on tape. Erin also came to visit for a day and a half, which was realllllly nice. we had a good time chillin' and shopping.
I mailed of my stuff about housing and board to Kalamazoo College, so i guess it's for real now. i am really excited!!!!
Melissa and i tried to get drunk last night with green rum (dyed, in honor of Patrick) and Pirates of the Caribbean, but somehow we didn't. i don't know how we managed that. we drank almost a whole bottle. we had spent the day at the Chocolate Museum in Cologne, and climbing five hundred some-odd steps to the top of the south tower of the cathedral (we are sore today). We also ate CHinese food for lunch, and drank a beer. I could not find the irish Pub, so we did not celebrat St. Paddy's day as well as we could have,
we had a lazy morning today.
ANWAY. something funny happened the other day.... Benjamin came over to visit Caroline and Julian, who had been sick in bed for a few days, and he and melissa and i were t alking, and he asked us where exactly we were from in America. She said chicago, i said near detroit, and he said that those were the only two cities in america that he really could find on a map. i asked why it was THOSE two, and he said because when he was 14 he visited Michigan. I was surprised because not many people VISIT michigan. he said he had been at a music camp in northern michigan back then (in 1984). I gaped, and said "Interlochen?", assuming that was where he had been, and this german guy replies "no, it was i muskeegon". How many people who live in MICHIGAN know where muskeegon is??? "BLUE LAKE?" Melissa and i chorus, stunned. he nods. What he didn't know is that it was at Blue Lake that Melissa and i met! SMALL FUCKING WORLD!!! | | |
| i felt like i was on a malfunctioning Nimbus 2001
I was going down this little street here in Alfter, and the car behind me could not get past me on my bike since i was riding in the street. so i was gonna hop the 2-inch curb to ride on the sidewalk when the car rudely honked at me. but my bike did not WANT to ride on the sidewalk. as my front tire hit the lip of the curb, by bicyle does an E.T. and blasts threw the air. i fly about three feet and crash into the side of a brick house before i land. so now the bike is at the repair shop and my finger hurts... but it was kinda funny, i admit. BUT! then when i told caroline what happened, and that i was having it repaired (as in.... i am paying for it, and dealing with it all) she kinda went off on me about how i didn't even saw i was sorry. i was like.... uh.... hello? you're not gonna ask if I'M ok? or realize OBVIOUSLY i'm sorry? or be pleased that i am taking responsibility and paying for it to be repaired etc? i guess i should have been sorry i broke her bike? (which she never uses). i mean.... i'm sorry that now i don't have a bike to ride, and that i have to pay to get it fixes, and that i have a painful finger. but she said some shit about, "this kind of affects us all". um.... how?! she never uses the bike! GRRRR!!!!!!!! but nevertheless......... i was harry potter!!!!! | | |
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